Turn “I’m behind” into “I’m ahead” with one word…HOW?
Where do you believe you’re behind on the racetrack of life? Did you have a trajectory for your life that hasn’t panned out exactly like you thought it would?
When I meet with clients and they desire something they don’t have, all they see is their lack and the ticking of the clock. The lack of friends they thought they would have, the lack of the body they want, the lack of the boyfriend or girlfriend, the lack of career/success, the lack of marriage and family, the lack of retirement, the lack of financial security, and on and on, but regardless of what, they ALL feel behind in some shape or form.
This fills them with defeat and is demotivating, to say the least.
Why even try? Isn’t it too late?
If you’ve ever watched a NASCAR event, it’s easy to notice that the track is a circle. Therefore, the people who are seemingly “ahead” might be running parallel to those who are technically “behind” and vice versa. The only factor making one car ahead of the other is the concept of the finish line.
When we believe we are behind, we’ve sometimes intentionally, and sometimes unintentionally, created an expiration date for our desires. This thought of a hypothetical finish line sends most clients into a sense of urgency and panic to “find a husband” or “find their purpose”……..fast! Their desires are something they have to go out and find NOW! Most are then met with disappointment as things continue to stay the same.
But without the finish line and the expiration date, life is just a never-ending circle of possibilities and experiences that are available to us when we’re ready for them.
How are you ready for what you desire and how are you not?
This is the real and most important question of all. Not am I behind, or am I ahead even, but am I ready? If the answer is yes, how do you know?
The people that look further down on the path, could have been ready before you were. But that doesn’t mean anything other than readiness. You also don’t know what they were ready for. I was ready for a wedding, with no clue how to have a marriage. If you take the linear path you believe you’re both walking on and adjust it to the circle it is, there’s nothing other than being in different places that exist for different reasons.
Let’s say you believe that because you’re living in a sorority house you have only one or two years to forge forever friendships. There is technically a finish line of graduation, but how is there not a finish line on connection and relationships with others? How can the finish line be another beginning?
I know women in their 60s who are experiencing shared emotional intimacy for the first time in their life, and career success after years of putting their professional goals on hold, and they are the most fulfilled they’ve ever been.
Your power is in your HOW.
How am I “behind? How am I "ahead” as a result of “being behind”?
How am I ready to be a parent? How am I not?
How am I closer to my purpose? How am I not?
How am I ready for love and commitment? How am I not?
How am I contributing to my situation? How am I not?
How am I ready for retirement? How am I not?
How do I choose and value myself? How do I not?
How am I right where I need to be? How am I not?
How am I valuing my health? How am I not?
How do I know I have enough financially? How do I not?
How am I ready for deeper lasting connections? How am I not?
These are just a few examples of how time is an illusion that we don’t have to buy into. We always have the opportunity to create and receive the desires of our hearts. Even in death, there is an opportunity to share a connection with your loved ones that surpasses the physical plane of existence, and all the limitations that naturally tend to come with being human.
There is no finish line, no flag, but a never-ending circle instead.
Challenge yourself to ask “how” instead of “what if” or “when will”. You will feel better immediately as your brain looks for answers. Then all you have to do is press the progress pedal one day at a time, move through courageous action towards what you want, and appreciate and enjoy the ride while you pass other drivers. Because after you get what you want, you’ll continue to journey, you’ll most likely have another stopping point, another desire, and you’ll want to know - how.
